Open vs Closed Adoption

Understanding the Types of Adoption

One of the most important decisions you’ll make as a hopeful adoptive parent is the type of adoption arrangement you’re comfortable with: open, semi-open, or closed adoption. Each approach has unique implications for your relationship with the birth family and for your child’s long-term identity and well-being. This guide breaks down the differences, advantages, and challenges of open vs closed adoption to help you make an informed, confident choice.

What Is an Open Adoption?

In an open adoption, there is ongoing communication and contact between the adoptive family and the birth parents. This can take many forms and may include:

• Phone calls, emails, or text messages
• Photo and letter updates
• In-person visits (before and/or after birth)
• Direct involvement in choosing the adoptive family
• Continued relationship after the child is born

Open adoptions are built on mutual respect and trust and are typically guided by a contact agreement that outlines what level of openness all parties are comfortable with.

What Is a Closed Adoption?

In a closed adoption, no identifying information is shared between the adoptive family and the birth parents. There is little to no contact before or after the adoption is finalized. The adoptive family may receive limited non-identifying medical or social history, but the birth parents and adoptive parents do not meet or communicate directly.

Historically, closed adoptions were the norm, but today they are less common as many agencies and families move toward greater openness and transparency.

Semi-Open Adoption: The Middle Ground

A semi-open adoption offers a blend of privacy and communication. In this arrangement:

• Non-identifying contact is shared through an agency or attorney
• Families may exchange letters or photos using a secure platform
• There may be occasional updates without direct contact

This option can provide peace of mind for both parties while maintaining some level of connection.

ros and Cons of Open Adoption

Pros:

• Allows the child to know their origins and story
• Reduces feelings of abandonment or confusion for the child
• Gives birth parents peace of mind about their decision
• Enables adoptive parents to answer the child’s questions with honesty
• Builds an extended support network

Cons:

• Requires emotional boundaries and ongoing communication
• Potential for misaligned expectations over time
• May be complex if the relationship becomes strained
• Not ideal in cases where the birth parent’s situation poses a risk

Pros and Cons of Closed Adoption

Pros:

• More privacy and emotional distance for both parties
• May reduce anxiety or discomfort for the birth parents
• Avoids the complexity of an ongoing relationship
• Can provide a clean slate for adoptive parents

Cons:

• Child may struggle with identity questions later in life
• No access to updated medical or genetic information
• Birth parents may experience more grief or unresolved emotions
• Adoptive parents may feel uncertain about the child’s background

How to Decide What’s Right for Your Family

There’s no one-size-fits-all answer. The best arrangement depends on your comfort level, values, and the unique needs of everyone involved — especially the child.

Consider the following when making your decision:

• Are you open to building a relationship with the birth family?
• Do you feel prepared to manage healthy boundaries and expectations?
• Would knowing the birth parents’ background benefit your child emotionally or medically?
• Are there safety concerns that might make a closed adoption more appropriate?

Your adoption agency can help mediate these conversations and develop a contact plan that works for both sides.